Random Mumble
So, I have been away from this space from far too long. This post is a kind of making up for the long absence from attending my blog. I believe that any worth wile post was last made sometime in the autumn of 2014. Well, I do have my reasons for that and perhaps the biggest one amongst them was disillusionment.
Now I think that maybe there is literally nobody reading my blog nowadays. Gone are the days when my friends would look up to me for posting an article, sometimes elevating them sometimes chiding and sometimes just churning out some randomized words about them. Oh! Those blissful days! How much I miss them today when I am alone typing this knowing that only I would be reading my thoughts. Yes it does make me sad. But am I disheartened? No. I did not create my blog to please anyone, it was made to give me a space to vent out my thoughts without anybody spying on them (read parents). It was the joy of being isolated, getting lost in the cyberspace and the feeling of being nobody that appealed to me.
Enough of being sentimental and writing such demoralizing crap, let’s get forward to my life.
In the year 2013, I changed my school to DAV Public School, Bistupur from J.H.Tarapore School in the hope of greater ambitions and a new way of life, meeting new people and forging new relations. In short, I changed from ICSE to CBSE for Entrance Examinations. How it changed me and left a mark on me will be dealt in another post.
I love English. There is no denying that. I strived to attain perfection, get new words, infuse them into my sentences and create magic. I loved to be a wizard of words (although to be precise there was, is and will remain a place for improvement). I loved to write and read and read and read anything that came in my way. To some extent, this blog is an extension of that love. Life was somewhat smooth till 2013.
But from 2013 to the May of 2016, life went downhill.
I lost what I loved. I lost whom I admired. I lost the essence of what defined me.
I performed poorly in academics. My already poor people skills were simply defenestrated out of myself. These 2 and half years was perhaps the most painful and mentally wrenching time for me. I became a recluse. Deactivated my Facebook account (it is still deactivated as of 20th June, 2016). Lost all self-confidence. Felt inferior to the world. I just wanted a place to hide. That inner flame in me which was full of vibrant hues, energy and hope was reduced to a tiny spark. I was destroyed badly. I believed that that there was no light at the end of tunnel.
Today, the situation is somewhat not that bad but not that great either. I am sitting at home waiting to get some college and trying hard, really hard to fight the inner demons which weigh me down. Hope is rekindled, people.
In past year I have not read even a single novel nor did anything creative. My sense of words is all lost and I create very poorly written pieces in comparison to the yesteryears. I simply hope that I can get away from this place and go far away much like the Magic Faraway Tree in Enid’s world.
But nothing is permanent and this too shall pass.
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